Ep. 002, "RDR8 Cast Advice" w/ Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamolodchikova
Trixie: Hi, I’m Market Woman of the Serengeti, Trixie Mattel. You give up that easy, huh? Would you give it up, baby. Hi, I’m Delta Sky Lounge member Trixie Mattel
Katya: And I’m a semi-pro athlete, Katya
Trixie: And welcome to
Both: UNHhhh
Trixie: The show where we talk about whatever we want
Katya: 'Cause it’s our show
Both: And not yours
[Intro]
Trixie: And today let’s talk about the brand new girls for Season 8 of RuPaul’s Best Friend Race, yayyy
Katya: New season, new queens, new opinions, viewpoints, and lots of advice
Trixie: ‘Cuz you ain’t seen nothin’ yet mama. Oooo, I like your look today. Where’d you get it?
Katya: Um, I got this at the Borgata Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City
Trixie: Are you kidding me?
Katya: No
Trixie: It’s so cool
Katya: We used it for an opening number. It says ‘Bonjour’ not ‘Bon Jovi’, just to clarify. Okay, so today we’re gonna talk about Season 8
Trixie: Yayyy, the best television show on television is back on television
Katya: It’s good to have the spotlight not on us
Trixie: Yeah, you know, I thought it would be kind of, like, because I’ve seen Santa Clause with his beard off smoking behind the mall, I wouldn’t want to sit on Santa’s lap anymore. I like to sit on Santa’s lap still
Katya: Yeah, I’ll sit on anybody’s lap
Trixie: Oh yeah, beard or not. Preferably a fake beard
Katya: Well especially that Naomi Smalls ‘cuz she’s got some bones
Trixie: Damn
Katya: Okay, so, knowing now what you know, going back, what advice would you give to the girls on the show? Not that this is gonna make any difference to anybody because it’s done and filmed and wrapped and in the can
Trixie: I would say the real race starts when the show’s over
Katya: Oh
Trixie: The perception of a judge’s panel is not the perception of the audience. The drag race audience, they love drag so much that, yes it’s a competition, but it’s — they really watch it ‘cuz it’s a talent show, ‘cuz they love drag
Katya: I wanna hear some realistic advice, Tracy
Trixie: Uh, don’t respond to negativity online
Katya: Okay
Trixie: Don’t read anything about yourself
Katya: That last one seems to me to be a little unrealistic
Trixie: Oh, are you kidding? I read about myself everyday
Katya: Of course
Trixie: But I can say don’t. I know you’re not supposed to. Uh, you should already have merchandise out now
Katya: Yes
Trixie: If you don’t have merchandise out now, you already messed up. Thousands and thousands of people around the world have shirts with my face on it and you know what I say? That hate crime is not my problem
Katya: What? You need to capitalize on the period between the announcement of the season cast and the premiere.
Trixie: Yeah
Katya: There’s a lot of mystery going on there
Trixie: Yeah
Katya: Delete all your YouTube videos, all your pictures
Trixie: Really? Why?
Katya: Yeah. Delete everything so you’re a blank slate
Trixie: Really?
Katya: Yeah
Trixie: I left all my videos up so people who are doing their research go like ‘wow she’s a great lip-sync performer’
Katya: Yeah, me too
Trixie: But then I lost two lip-syncs so I guess what does it matter?
Katya: So what else? Okay —
Trixie: Oh, you have to be on social media every single day. I think we definitely have queens from our season who didn’t make the most of social media
Katya: You have to learn to like social media. If you don’t like social media you have to learn to like it. You’re not gonna do it if you don’t like it so learn to like it. Twitter is so fun
Trixie: It’s so fun. It’s a way for you to connect directly with people all over the world. Just ‘cuz you tweet Michelle, she doesn’t tweet you back, her house probably flooded, you know, or she’s stuck in traffic. Don’t take it personal
Katya: Don’t take it personal
Trixie: Yeah, and if your album’s not selling just leak your nudes showing your tattoos and your face and then tell people it was, um, a violation
Katya: How dare you talk about Demi Lovato like that? When you’re traveling, you have to be prepared for a lot of different stage, um, situations like a milk crate hovering above a furnace
Trixie: Completely. I have shown up to gigs with my tap shoes and the stage was rubberized
Katya: Or astro-turf
Trixie: Or carpet
Katya: Yeah
Trixie: In Winston-Salem, North Carolina, I performed on the pavement with Kenya Michaels in the street in the daylight
Katya: Yeah
Trixie: Because I’m what? Sickening
Katya: You gotta be prepared for anything and everything
Trixie: The biggest thing too is branding yourself. Figure out what your look and your fantasy and your sense of humor is, your style and pretty much do that only from now on
Katya: Yeah
Trixie: I mean, I used to wear all different kinds of hair colors and stuff and then I just stuck with pink and blonde because it make me happy, it makes other people happy
Katya: Find a nice shaped box and then tape yourself inside of it
Trixie: Yeah, and if, pick a silhouette. Like today I chose Lay’s potato chips with Lady Bunny arms and visible, VPL
Katya: If you are a fan of sleeping, eating, or staying hydrated or sane, you should let go all that
Trixie: Request the window seats
Katya: Yeah or if you have a small bladder the aisle’s good
Trixie: Or a cath. When I’m on a plane and someone’s not wearing a catheter
Katya: A what?
Trixie: A catheter. I’m like, girl, you’re not wearing a cath? Amateur. Wear the cath. I don’t do a single drag show without a cath
Katya: Or a colostomy bag
Trixie: And then as I urinate, like, my tits will get bigger, you know, wherever I store it. It’s a reveal
Katya: Yeah, feminine pockets
Katya: If you’re a terrible person, try to fix that right away
Trixie: If you leave a bad taste in the mouth of a colleague at a club, we will all hear about it so fast
Katya: Yeah, Chatty Kathys. Word travels
Trixie: I’ve heard how every single girl of our season is live. I’ve heard what their performance is like and what they’re like in the dressing room
Katya: Yeah, people love to talk. You know what they love to talk about? Bullshit
Trixie: You, because you’re bullshit [bird noises]
Katya: And don’t forget to subscribe to
Trixie: Wow Presents
Transcribed by: TranscriptUNHhhhs from the Serengeti
Edited by: UNHhhh Encyclopedia