Ep. 000, UNHhhh Teaser
TRIXIE: Hi I’m Trixie Mattel.
KATYA: And I’m Katya. We met each other on the set of Animal Hoarders.
TRIXIE: RuPaul’s Drag Race.
KATYA: Animal Hoarders Season 3, Teen Mom All Stars
TRIXIE: Animal Hoarders All Stars All 3 All Tea All Shade Untucked. Who did your hair tonight, girl?
KATYA: This is — I didn’t glue it.
TRIXIE: Okay!
KATYA: Is that okay? I didn’t glue it.
TRIXIE: It looks good for coming right out of the vacuum. Just pulled it right out. Would you wear this look?
KATYA: I would…
TRIXIE: You don’t even know what you’re saying.
KATYA: You have been clamoring, clanging and loudly banging pots and pans on the world wide web--
TRIXIE: For us to get together and do a series! And guess what fucker? You manifested your destiny. We are very different types of people, very different types of drag queens, but I think we should just come together and create content that people feel good about watching.
KATYA: Something enriching! Something that you feel you buoyed by.
TRIXIE: Buoyed. Boo-ied.
KATYA: Buoyed. You know, something that lifts you up and gives you a lightness and helps you float through your day. A spiritual Bump-It.
TRIXIE: A spiritual Bump-It. Welcome to Spiritual Bump-Its.
KATYA: Yes, something that can give your soul and your life a little bit of volume.
TRIXIE: Nyahh! What do you really want from doing this? Like, in your soul?
KATYA: Okay well my goals are to explore issues and topics that help reassert my faith in contemporary womanhood.
TRIXIE: I’m trying to make sure that guys still recognize me on Grindr. Yeah.
KATYA: Only problem is, we are not exactly sure what to call it. So I think we should call it like… Two Girls One Cup of Noodles. Uh, nope, you know what, 2016…
TRIXIE: What about Nightgowns and Robes.
KATYA: Yeah!
TRIXIE: And that could be our thing, we just wear nightgowns and robes.
KATYA: No! Spiritual Beings Having a Human Experience, or Sewer Rats Trying to Make the Best of It.
TRIXIE: What do we call it?
KATYA: So what else do… we could call this More Than Half the Battle is Just About Showing Up.
TRIXIE: Ask Pearl! What about She Might Have a Gap Tooth But I Still Think She’s Pretty.
KATYA: She’s Fat But I’ll Fuck Her.
TRIXIE: Ooh what about that tour we did that was called like Russian Dolls.
KATYA: Russian Dolls!
TRIXIE: Because you’re Russian and I’m a doll. What about like… 1-800-WE-COULD-HELP-YOU-BUT-WE-WONT.
KATYA: Hot Pussy.
TRIXIE: UNHhhh! Is that…does that work? UNHhhh…
KATYA: We’re post-verbal! This show is post-verbal!
TRIXIE: Hi, welcome to UNHhhh!
KATYA: And don’t forget to subscribe to WOW Presents!
Transcribed by: David W.
Audited by: UNHhhh Encyclopedia